Still Human
by Cohen's girl
Summary: I'm sure it's been done lots of times before, but this is my take on when Stephen gets shot. Plz R&R!


**Disclaimer: I don't own Master and Commander, or any of the people in it :(**

**Authors Notes: Since I haven't read any of the books this is purely movie based; and even though its been done a lot before, I just couldn't help writing a little Oneshot :D Its in Jack's perspective.**

**Still Human**

CRACK.

To Jack, the shot seems to be a symbol. A physical manifestation of what occurred between him and Stephen just the night before. Because Jack knows- he _knows_- he could have shot Stephen last night and it still wouldn't have hurt as much as the words,

"We don't have time for your damned hobby!"

Those words had cut right into Stephen deeper than a bullet, or any other weapon could have; and Jack had seen the shock and hurt in his eyes, and still let him walk out of his cabin without a word. Jack knew he shouldn't have let him go; he should have followed, should have said something, anything to ease that look of pain in his eyes. Because just as Jack couldn't live without the sound of the sea, and the feel of a wooden deck beneath his feet, Stephen couldn't live without examining the wonders of nature all around him. Jack shouldn't have lashed out, and it was the same pride that Stephen had warned him about that kept him from apologising. Jack had justified that there was no point, as he couldn't take the words back.

He's not even sure why he said it now. Maybe because he was angry at Stephen for being right; because mostly it _was_ his pride that was ordering them all to chase the Acheron. Mission or no, Jack just couldn't let the ship slip away from him and had it not been for that bullet: that one, tiny, fateful little bullet, he would have chased the Acheron down to the ends of the Earth.

But how one little bullet can change a man's perspective.

Jack doesn't know how he gets to Stephen's side so quickly; and he doesn't know how the rest of the crew isn't deafened by how loudly his heart is thudding against his ribcage. He had felt a sense of foreboding when he woke up this morning- but he had never suspected this would happen. Jack's first thought is, _'Where is he shot?'_ because he knows that Stephen could die pretty much instantly depending on that fact, and the thought of Stephen dying is not one he can cope with. But Stephen, even with eyes glazed with pain and hands shaking in fear, pulls open his waistcoat and Jack sees that his best friend isn't about to die. Oh he's been shot, and bad- but Jack can see the wound is not enough for an instant kill.

Somehow, that just doesn't ease his conscience though.

People around him suddenly start moving in a whir of activity, getting ready a makeshift stretcher so they can be careful, and not hurt Stephen anymore than is necessary. To the crew, he is far more than just a doctor; he's a miracle, and the captain's best friend and not one of them wants to see him die. Jack though, finds himself temporarily unable to move, instead, he finds himself clutching Stephen's much smaller, much more delicate hands in his and saying roughly,

"I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry." Jack knows he can't take the words back, but that's what apologising is all about, isn't it? Being sorry that they were ever said. Then Stephen painfully smiles his small smile of forgiveness, and Jack becomes Captain Aubrey again; pushing the humanity away so he can concentrate, so he can think about what he has to do.

Because Jack now has a choice, a very important choice, to make.

He could turn back. He could turn back and head for the Galapagos Islands, head back for the place that had caused his argument with Stephen, head back for dry land and somewhere safer than the sea. Or he could just stay on his course, catch the Acheron, and hope that there aren't too many casualties that the crew's other doctors can't handle. It's a big risk to take, but part of Jack Aubrey's pride is still intact, and the Acheron taunts him. So for now, he will not change his course.

But even as he makes this decision, Jack knows- he _knows- _that no matter how hard, how cold he can be, he's still human, and he's going to change his mind.


End file.
